For the most part, living in Korea has been a great time. I am America, and when I tell people this i usually get smiles of approval and attempts to speak extremely mispronounced English. And for the most part Korean people are nice and accommodating, business owners go out of their way to do things for you, they try their best to help you understand what they are saying, and some will even help you randomly on the subway when you are trying to write something in Korean. There are two aspects of Korean society though that just seem exasperating.

Back home, it really is true that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" you know, different strokes for different folks. There are all sorts of movies, songs, pictures, fashion models that depict multiply different types of beauty. But in Korea, it seems like there is a strict definition of what "beauty" is, and if you don't follow the guidelines, society doesn't treat you as well. I rarely (if ever) see a Korean woman go out without make-up and a fully coordinated and chic looking outfit, with hair that probably took hours to do, and 4 inch heels (with no back up pair of sneakers in their bags like the smart girls back at OACD). There are beauty stores literally every five feet, and millions of commercials for beauty products.

I know this seems like the case with America, but here it seems like it is being force-fed down the throats of every teenage girl that in order to get a man and get a good job, you need to be gorgeous. Families pressure young girls extremely that they need to look their best, and that they better the girls look, the better husband they will get in the future.

Plastic surgery is a big market here. One of the most popular operations is "double eyelid surgery" in order to look more western and have bigger eyes. Although breast implants aren't really big here (thank god, could you image a set of double-Ds on a 100 pound, 5'2" Korean girl?), facial operations are really big. And since the market for plastic surgery is so huge, it has lead to a large number of unqualified plastic surgeons operating on people. It seems like there just an inordinate amount of pressure put on woman to have beauty, and they will take extreme measures to get it.

My second (and biggest issue) with South Korea is the straight up racism that takes part in society. Korean is an extremely homogeneous culture, Koreans marry other Koreans and have Korean babies. If you go to one of the more western areas of Seoul, you might see a Korean girl with a western guy, but it's not that common. And most Korean woman that I talk to say they will only date Korean men. Koreans have extreme racism towards people not of their own culture, especially an ethnicity that is darker than their own. They dislike Southeast Asians, Indians, Africans, etc. They also hate the Japanese with a pretty big passion (based on atrocities committed almost 60 years ago). I often get weird looks from Koreans when I go out in public with Daniel and we hold hands or kiss in public. A woman on the subway even asked us how ws it possible that we were friends, he's black and I'm white.

This was even a conversation I had with a 10-year old Korean girl:
Somehow we got on the topic of nationality, and I told her that my boyfriend was not America (and she knows he is black)
Me - No he isn't American, he is from Africa.
Sophia - Oh. Are all people in Africa black?
Me - No, not all of them, but most of them are.
Sophia - Oh, so Obama is black?
Me - Yes he is, part black.
Sophia - You like Obama?
Me - Yes I do.
Sophia - Why? (then a conversation ensued about political views)
Sophia - But he's black.
Me - What, I shouldn't like him because he's black? The color of his skin makes a difference?
Sophia - Yes it does.
Me - Are black people different on the inside?
Sophia - Yes
Me - What do you mean? They have blood right? And a heart? And a brain?
Sophia - Yes
Me - So what's the difference?
Sophia - Black people smell.
Me - What? Korean people smell, are you saying I shouldn't like them?
Sophia - Korean people don't smell.
Me - So you think think that because the black people you have met smelled, that they all smell?
Sophia - Yes.
Me - Ok, well maybe the people you met did smell, but maybe its just those people. You can't dislike a whole group of people based on the actions of a few.
Sophia - What do you think of Indonesian people?
Me - I don't know, I've never met an Indonesian person, but I don't think I would have a problem with them. Why, do you?
Sophia - I knew a baby, and it cried for 5 years!
Me - Okay, well maybe I wouldn't like that one baby, but I can't say that i dislike a whole group of people based on one person or baby.
(by this point Sophia was completely disinterested, she was set in her ways that she did not like people who were of a different color, so I posed a situation for her.)
Me - Ok, so you have just moved to a new school, and there are only three other girls there. There is a white girl, a black girl, and an asian girl?
Sophia - teacher what is Asian?
Me - You are Asian.
Sophia - Oh, you mean yellow?
Me - Uhhh, ya, that's not really PC but okay. Anyway, the white girl smells really bad, and she dresses funny. The yellow girl is really mean to you, she makes fun of you, pulls your hair, pushes you. And the black girl is really nice, and she doesn't smell at all. So who are you going to be friends with?
Sophia - I won't be friends with any of them.

Even at a young age, Koreans are ingrained with the idea that non-western and non-Korean people are inferior to them, that they are criminals and thieves. When Daniel first came to Korea, he told me that his students would make fun of him constantly, they would call him "monkey" and other racial slurs, they wouldn't listen to anything he said. He said it was extremely disheartening that that he wanted to quit after the first week. He says he still gets looks from people on the street, Koreans treating him poorly. He tries his best to be nice and friendly to everyone, and people that have gotten to know him really like him, but others don't give him a chance.

Maybe it's because I've grown up and went to university in a heterogeneous society where the color of your skin isn't as big of a deal. But I couldn't imagine growing up in a country that is so intolerant of other races. I get pretty pissed off when Daniel and I get unapproving looks in public, or when people ask how it's possible for me to get along with a black person. But you know, there isn't really anything I can do about it, I can't change the mind of a whole nation. So to deal with my own irritation towards the matter, I am learning how to say some useful phrases in Korean such as "is there a problem?" when someone stares and "the sex is great", "he has a big penis", and "I love him very much" when people ask how I can like a black man. I know, slightly childish of me, but it makes me feel better!